As we teeter on the brink of World War III, our president-elect is tirelessly working on global peace, domestic security, inflation, and child trafficking—just to name a few. Meanwhile, the left has laser-focused its audience on the urgent issue of gender-neutral bathroom rights. Clearly, the most pressing matter of our time is whether a 6’3” man can access women’s bathrooms—because nothing screams “safety” like a towering figure in a dress claiming the right to align with their gender identity. Who needs to worry about global conflict when we can debate bathroom etiquette?
In the grand circus of the leftist agenda, border safety and illegal immigration take a backseat to bathroom rights. Yes, while we’re concerned about who’s crossing the border, the Democrats are fixated on who should be crossing the bathroom threshold. As Chuck Schumer might say, “We’re not going to let anyone take away our right to pee wherever we want!”
Let’s also applaud the brave liberal women advocating for abortion rights, boldly shaving their heads to protest Trump’s election, while vowing to abstain from dating, sex, marriage, and children for four years. Because nothing says “I stand for women’s rights” quite like a bald-headed woman threatening to forgo intimate relationships with men! Clearly, they’re saving women and children in parts of the world facing complete annihilation with this vow of celibacy and bald heads while they demand gender-neutral restrooms. Who knew global peace and domestic security hinged on shaving heads and gender-neutral bathrooms?
So, as the left prioritizes bathroom concerns over border safety, we’re left wondering: what’s next?
In the end, while Joe is snoozing, like a 30-year-old cat lost in dreams of tuna and shrimp, between his high-stakes debate with Kamala and Hillary over who gets the last slice of pizza—because, let’s face it, the pizza party is about to hit the brakes—the rest of us are left to navigate this delightful circus of absurdity. So, buckle up, America! It’s going to be a wild finale to this wonderfully insane puppet show—just remember to wash your hands, get your booster shot, and maintain six feet of distance from each other, because safety first, right?
Mariam Al-Majid is a first generation Afghan American citizen residing in Loudoun county. A thinker and truth seeker.
